Power Rangers (2017) ... "Go, go, Power Rangers!"

Power Rangers (2017)

“It’s Morphin’ Time!”

I absolutely loved Power Rangers growing up. I am certain that, between my brothers and I, we had the complete Power Rangers models. I even had an Action Man style version of the red power ranger and my brother had a red power ranger costume. Yeah!

I watched it every day I could and even enjoyed the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers 1995 movie, despite its excessive cheese.

My friends and I used to act out battles in the playground (I was always the Blue Power Ranger).

So, when I saw the trailer for the new movie over a year ago, I was very worried.

It looked like they had taken something beloved for its cheesiness and low budget and turned it into a Transformers movie.

I kept my preconceptions back though and I am very glad I did.

The movie takes its time to get into the action, spending its time letting us get to know the characters.

They are good characters too, with enjoyable and believable back stories that genuinely lend to the development of the story and my fondness of each character.

Although when talking about the main characters, I do have to mention one issue I had with one character.

Billy. A great addition to the film who is genuinely my joint-favourite of the five. (The other being Didi/Trini) However, what they do with Billy is try to make him an outcast, not just by his quirky and loveable behaviour, but by having him mention that he is on the ‘Spectrum’.

By ‘Spectrum’ they must be talking about the Autistic Spectrum, right?

Hm… very unnecessary. Quite obviously included just to make the character more interesting and cool.

One big problem though. He is NOT on the Autistic Spectrum.

Everything he explains about being on the Spectrum and what it means… he shows the complete opposite to throughout the bloody film!

There is NOTHING autistic about this character. He is just quirky. Quirky does not mean Autistic.

Anyway, that small issue I had, that is so minor that it almost seemed pointless them including it, may as well be forgotten about for the rest of this review.

Why?

Because the film is brilliant.

As a childhood Power Rangers fan – I loved almost every second.

The cheese? Check.

The bad fighting talk? Check.

Silly training montage? Check.

‘Go, Go, Power Rangers’ music? Fucking check!

The casting is just right. Bryan Cranston, as Zordon, bringing his excellence to the role as he does with everything.

Bill Hader as Alpha 5 is a sublime choice.

…and Elizabeth Banks. Holy shit. She is amazing as Rita.

The Power Rangers themselves? Every one of them is unique and interesting and that is massively helped by the excellent cast.

This pacing is what made the film work so well, weaving its way through the standard High School angst each Ranger is experiencing, building the anticipation and character development, teasing you here and there until just the right time to reveal the suits – and what a reveal. Jason even says “It’s Morphin’ Time!”

Even when Netflix dropped out I waited until it came back so that I could carry on! I wanted to see how this movie developed.

No, Netflix! I will sit here staring at the TV until you work!

When we eventually get to the final battle, it goes down exactly how it should. With excellent one-liners (“Sorry bumblebee” is a particular favourite of mine) and genuine anxiety that even though I knew nobody would die. Well… let’s just say I still cheered like my eight-year-old self when the Mega-Zord appeared.

I could gush about this film all day.

So, I will end it with this.

The director Dean Israelite (Project Almanac, 2015) clearly understood what Power Rangers was. He has modernized it and added just the right amount of depth to the characters, adding genuine emotional coupled with well-timed humour, to bring the Power Rangers into 2017 without borrowing from every other epic action adventure out there.

Shut your brain off.

Forget about how shit it is to be an adult.

Enjoy the stupidity of this film.

"Go, go, Power Rangers!"

And finally… can Michael Bay please fuck off and let Dean Israelite make the next Transformers film? Please?!

Also - shout out to Popchips for their Star Wars themed Barbeque crisps. Seriously. Try them. I found R2-D2 and ate him... will you?!

Bored myself to sleep with Assassin's Creed (2016)

Assassin’s Creed (2016)

    Okay, so I have decided to start writing again. I am going to start small and work my way up.

As I do watch a lot of films and TV series, and play a silly amount of games, I thought to myself: “WRITE ON YOUR FUCKING BLOG!”

So here I am. Writing on my blog.

I am going to review every movie, every TV series, ever video game I play.

I warn you though. I start a lot of TV Series and a lot of games and rarely finish them. But maybe this will help, right?

So anyway… I am starting with what I watched today. Assassin’s Creed.

Every single second of this film is terrible.

The movie starts slow and boring, trying to make you feel for the character of… hang on… what was his name?

Carl? Cat? Cal?

We’ll just call him Fassbender.

The film starts with some big fight somewhere in the past with lots of death. Then it jumps to young Fassbender and he’s trying to jump across some gap on a bike. He fails. The only moment in the whole film that summoned any kind of emotional response from me. (I laughed).

Then *SPOILERS* his mum is dead. And I thought his dad was dead but *SPOILERS* he was captured and I guess has just been stood in a room with televisions on the ceiling for 30 years?

The director, Justin Kurzel, then decides to skip Fassbender’s entire back story and jumps straight to him in prison. We have no emotional connection to this guy other than he is a murderer about to undergo a death sentence.

*SPOIL- oh fuck it. Who cares?! Nothing happens in this film that anyone would remotely care about.

We get into the action quite quickly. Which baffles me considering it has a runtime of 2h 20m. They could have taken their time to build the characters, do some training and work up the anticipation for getting into the Animus. But NO!

The Animus…

I have so many problems with the Animus…

I would love to know who designed it. I wonder, had they ever played an Assassin’s Creed game? If they have played one, then what was the reason for them creating one of the worst fucking set pieces I have ever seen in a film?

This is where the film feels the messiest. Jumping between the past and the present so haphazardly during fight scenes left me feeling confused and nauseous. I had no idea who was fighting who and who had died. One minute we were watching Fassbender actually fighting someone and then within a second he was prancing around the Animus attached to some robotic arm.

The first half of the film had me slightly interested, and I had a little hope it could pick up in the final conflict.

Then the final conflict came and went.

There was nothing to it.

A few hundred soldiers running and screaming (Why the screaming?!) at four assassins and being obliterated.

Then the film ends with no danger, no conflict, just some pathetic excuse for a climax with Fassbender chatting to Marion Cotillard and she just stands there looking sad. Then he walks on stage (apparently there is no security backstage at the Templar head office) and stabs Jeremy Irons (Isle of Wight Massive Respect yo!) and then the film ends.

It just ends!

2 Hours and 20 minutes and the film just ends with nothing happening!

What a waste of my afternoon.

They are apparently making more of them as well.

Save us.

Why The Witness is my game of the year... so far.

Look, there are a lot of great games this year. Doom, Hitman, Rise of the Tomb Raider, just to name a few. But, there is only one game for me that really stands above the rest as something really special.

The Witness is a game that drops you straight in. There is no cut scene, there is no exposition, it just plonks you into a corridor and lets you work it out for yourself. There are a few games that do this, think Limbo and Inside for example, but none that do it with quite so much style.

I don’t know if it is something to do with it being first person, or because the art style looks so bloody great, but this is a world that I immediately want to explore.

The game gently leads you from one puzzle to the next without you feeling like you are being forced down one specific path, and the clues it gives you, if any at all, are so subtle that sometimes you can be staring at the screen for half an hour before you notice what suddenly seems so obvious.

It is a difficult game to sell anyone on without giving away the answers to some of the puzzles, but I do have to mention the ruined temple in the sand. I was in there for an hour before I worked it out, and when I did I felt like the cleverest (most clever?) arse in the world.

How can a game that is pretty much just thousands and thousands of line puzzles be fun? It just is. Play it, love it, accept it. And if you don’t love it then that’s okay. This is my game of the year so far because only two games left me with an actual fully formed smile on my face. Doom was the other one. But I can’t play that anymore because I am stuck in hell and just keep dying, because I’m not actually that good at playing games. But The Witness? The Witness I can play.

Will it stay my game of the year? We’ll see what happens when Call of Duty comes out. I haven’t really enjoyed a CoD game since Modern Warfare 2, but I have a sneaking suspicion this year is going to be something quite special… Oh and Forza Horizon 3.

Anyway, I’m going to go and play ReCore now. I’ve heard it’s a big pile of wank, but people said that about Sunset Overdrive and I really enjoyed it. Byyeee!!